Needlessly scaring Sophie

Sometimes we forget that Sophie is only six. For the most part we talk with her like she's just another person, but we do try to avoid controversial subjects. For instance, we've made a deal that Dad can't watch the news while she's in the room; she asks too many questions that we don't want to answer yet.

Yesterday though, we blew it. Her school sent home a note warning us to be on the lookout for a suspicious man, attempting to prey on young girls. It was in the paper too -- 3 teens reported to police that a man had tried to force them into his car at a local strip mall. They wisely ran away, but then another parent reported that her children encountered a similar situation, and now everybody's on edge. Caldwell is a nice suburban town, but you can't be too careful no matter where you live. There are nuts everywhere it seems.

It was a really nice spring day and Sophie wanted to play outside after school. She's done this many times in the past, and since Tammy was working from home, out she went. Tnen Tammy read the note. She went into over-protective Mom mode (a natural reaction, for sure) and told Sophie not to stray from the front porch. Sophie asked why, and instead of just saying "because I said so", Tammy said "because there is a bad man who wants to drag you into his car". She then went on to reinforce the "stay away from strangers" meme we've been instilling in her.

Uh, oh. Six year olds have very active imaginations. Sophie was freaked out. She did as she was told, but when it was time for bed, she didn't want to go upstairs. "What if the bad man comes up the driveway while I'm asleep?" "What if he tries to climb in through my window?" We tried to reassure her, telling her that we'd call the police at the first sign of trouble. "What if the police are in the bathroom when you call?" was her response. I explained that there are lots of police officers and they don't all go to the bathroom at the same time, but she was still very worried. I had to lay down with her and rock her to sleep, and it took over an hour before she stopped asking more questions while fidgeting and clinging tightly to me.

When I finally got back downstairs, Tammy sheepishly admitted that she probably over-reacted. As parents we have to stay on top of the dangers that lurk around the corner, but we also have to remember to be careful about needlessly inducing fear into the minds of our children. Sophie isn't old enough yet to fully understand the difference between a potential threat and a clear and present danger. Fortunately she didn't mention anything about the bad man at breakfast, so perhaps my reassurances were enough to put her mind at ease. More likely though she just temporalized the threat; since nothing happened last night, nothing is going to happen. I wish I could pretend that was true.

Posted at 16:34 by Chris Wysocki   [/sophie]   Comments | Perm Link |   |   Tweet