I would like to applaud my liberal friends' newfound interest in sexual morality!

A short note to all my liberal friends:

Your condemnations of Donald Trump's vile comments seem sincere. So, welcome to Sexual Morality Club. Come on in, we don't bite!

First off, I'm glad you're finally seeing the light. For far too long our society has tolerated all manner of perversity, and your pre-Trump actions led me to believe you were all OK with that. From Hollywood to rap music to advertising to our public schools, sex and sexual innuendo is everywhere, and that's not how we roll here.

And so, I eagerly await your equally vociferous condemnations of pre-marital sex, cohabitation, out-of-wedlock pregnancy, abortion, extra-marital affairs, pornography, and homosexuality. Sins of the flesh aren't tolerated in Sexual Morality Club, and I'm told that the newest converts often become the most zealous enforcers. I sure hope so! We can use all the help we can get.

I also expect you'll be canceling your subscriptions to HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and most network television, because their depictions of sexual deviancy are legion. You won't be buying People Magazine, or watching the Oscars, Emmys, or Tony Awards either. By and large the participants in our entertainment industry lead lives of sexual depravity and I can't imagine you'll want to endorse that, right?

In the political arena, I'm sure you'll agree that politicians who aren't with us are against us. So Trump's out. And so's Hillary, Gary Johnson, and Jill Stein. We're gonna need to draft a suitable candidate, and quickly too. I nominate Rick Santorum. He practically founded Sexual Morality Club, and he's currently a senior member in good standing. He'll get America back onto the straight and narrow in no time!

Because my friends, if we're going to force Donald Trump into upholding the Choir Boy Standard, then everyone, including you!, should uphold it too. Saul Alinsky said so.

Signed, with kind regards, Chris.

ps — Go To Confession!

Posted at 10:59 by Chris Wysocki   [/rants]   Comments | Perm Link |
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