Good Grief, on Friday night I needed photo ID to buy air

Compressed air, to be exact. You know, the stuff we all use to clean the schmutzdecke out of our keyboards. Apparently regulating its purchase is now a critical component of The War on Drugs.

So there I was on Friday night, standing in the checkout lane at Target, blissfully unaware of the nanny state nightmare about to unfold. But when the cashier reached for the innocuous looking can of 3M Dust Remover she reared up in her most officious voice and announced, "I need to see some ID sir."

Huh?

"You need ID to buy this product." And no, she wasn't kidding, I asked. "We have to record your date of birth." For who?

"It's the law."

Of course it is.

I wasn't in the mood to argue. I handed her my ID. She typed some stuff into her computer terminal. And then, she called for a manager.

Handing him my ID she said, "I need you to enter the code."

Which he did, after perusing me and my ID up and down.

After all, I am a DHS certified Right Wing Extremist! They can't be too careful at Target. Who knows what nefarious plots I have in mind for which the key component is a can of compressed air.

Somewhat anticlimactically she handed me back my ID, rang up the rest of my purchases, and sent me on my way. No black helicopters or SWAT teams were waiting in the parking lot as I walked to my car.

But still, all that rigmarole for air? Sure, I've been carded at bars, even when it's obvious I'm old enough to be the dude's grandfather. But recording my stats? Some bars even use scanners to read the bar codes on your drivers license. But when it was revealed that Kat Man Du, a popular Trenton nightclub, was storing every patron's license data, well let's just say the privacy nuts came out of the woodwork to protest. The outrage was loud, and effective. The database was seized, and the club fined.

And of course asking for photo ID to vote is an infringement on our Constitutional rights.

Yet when it comes to the War on Drugs there are no limits to the power of the state. No imposition on our privacy is off limits. Target can maintain a list of every person who ever bought compressed air. Drugstores monitor our intake of Nyquil and the Feds track everybody's credit card usage. We are all guilty until proven innocent.

But at least my keyboard is clean now.

Posted at 14:30 by Chris Wysocki   []   Comments | Perm Link |
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