Eric Holder: You have a duty to retreat

According to Eric Holder, Rosa Parks had a duty to retreat from her seat on the bus. And Martin Luther King had a duty to retreat from the Edmund Pettus Bridge.

Because in his speech to the NAACP today our esteemed Attorney General said this:

"But we must examine laws that take this further by eliminating the common sense and age-old requirement that people who feel threatened have a duty to retreat, outside their home, if they can do so safely," Holder said. "By allowing -- and perhaps encouraging -- violent situations to escalate in public, such laws undermine public safety."

Oh, wait. That's probably not what he meant. White People have a "duty to retreat" when confronted by a Son of Obama. But Holder's homies? He's got their back.

Now listen up. I'm going to talk about ideas here, so the Rachel Jeantels of the world might not be fully capable of grasping my arguments. But I'll soldier on anyway.

A man's home is his castle. That's a doctrine enshrined in English Common Law since the days of Magna Carta. So when a thug invades your personal space and starts beating your head into the pavement, there's no "duty to retreat" in your repertoire. Unless you're Eric Holder.

Then again, he warrants Secret Service protection, so his "duty to retreat" is covered by one or more flanking maneuvers. The rest of us aren't so fortunate.

And yet, he'd rather we sat back and enjoyed the beating. Oh, sorry, it's not a "beating." Miss Jeantel described it as a "whoop-assssssssssssss." Some kind of African-American cultural ritual. Totally harmless. And undoubtedly fun for the whole family.

If only our post-racial president had explained these things! Us creepy-ass crackers would know when to retreat and when to just sit back and offer up our skulls as reparations for centuries of racial inequality. Too bad he's busy playing golf.

UPDATE 17 Jul 2013 09:37:
Linked by Larwyn! Thanks!

Posted at 22:42 by Chris Wysocki   [/obama_watch]   Comments | Perm Link |
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