WyBlog

Dear Leader gave another campaign speech last night? Yawn.

I didn't watch it. But my FB feed provided more than enough evidence to assure me that I didn't miss anything important.

The State of our Union is … Not Progressive Enough! More Government! Now!

What a load of horsepucky.

Universal preschool? Yeah, because starting the progressive indoctrination at age 5 is sometimes too late. Gotta get 'em when they're really young and impressionable. By kindergarten some kids already believe in God, and that cuts down on their ability to pledge unvarnished fealty to the State.

How else can he expect to create a nation of sheeple who'll let him play dictator via the Executive Order(s) of the Day? The government is smarter than you; go back to watching American Idol and leave the thinking to us!

Gun Control! Now! Because children.

How about ponies? Children want ponies too. I'll bet I can find a boatload of YouTube videos of kids asking for a pony. Are those kids any less earnest than the kids begging Dear Leader to take away my guns?

If I wanted a child to run the country I would have voted for one. Can we put the adults back in charge? Please?

"The fact is, the 12 hottest years on record have all come in the last 15." Um, no. Sorry Sport. Not even close. Get your facts straight.

Oh, who am I kidding? To his followers, anything Dear Leader says is automatically a Fact. Unless you're a racist.

He's reduced the deficit by $2.5 Trillion. He said it, it must be true. In some alternate universe.

I suppose that'll be a Fact now too.

Jay Leno: "Oh, and for the first time ever...when the President walks into the chamber, instead of 'Hail to the Chief,' they played 'Hey, Big Spender.' I thought that was kind of interesting."

And then the bugler could sound "Retreat." Because the war against Al-Qaeda is won. Chris Stevens was unavailable for comment. Maybe he's vacationing in Mali.

More incoherence:

The decade of war is over but we face threats from new regions but we are reducing by half our troops in Afghanistan but our troops deserve our support but we need taxes or the axe will fall on the Defense Department.

Followed by stuff like, the sequester is Bad, even though it was my idea. Karl Rove probably used his brain-wave thought-implantation device to stick it in my head. Yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Because you rubes will believe anything I say, and forget I said the exact opposite just 5 minutes ago.

And finally, you really do have a job, even if you're unemployed. Cashing a government check is now officially a job. I just signed a Secret Executive Order saying so. See, when I say I'm pivoting to the economy, I can really pivot. That's why I golf so much, to practice pivoting, on my backswing.

God save us.

UPDATE 14 Feb 2013 12:14:
Gator Doug links amid a righteous rant that's worth your time. Thanks!

Posted at 10:48 by Chris Wysocki   [/obama_watch]   Comments | Perm Link |
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