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Chris Wysocki
Caldwell, NJ
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Thursday, 24 March 2011
Oh, so that's what Obama meant by Kinetic Military Action
All four branches of the U.S. Military have released training materials as a prelude to opening their ranks to gay service members. We don't want to hurt some pwivate's widdle fweelings in the new we-didn't-ask-but-aw-geez-you're-gonna-tell-anyway army. Yeah, it's not just a job, it's a whole new adventure…
Smitty presents a modest example, courtesy of Monty Python.
More than 2.2 million active duty service members will participate in helpful vignettes that outline what to do in situations like this:
"Situation," it begins. "You are the Executive Officer of your unit. While shopping at the local mall over the weekend, you observe two junior male Marines in appropriate civilian attire assigned to your unit kissing and hugging in the food court."
"Issue: Standards of Conduct. Is this within standards of personal and professional conduct?"
Answer: Break out in song!
For he is the Captain of the Pin - a - fore …
Other chapters are dedicated to the proper organization of the mess tent spice rack and 1001 uses for potpourri in the desert.
I hear that Armed Forces TV plans to air a new special, Foxholes and Friends (hosted by Shep Smith), in conjunction with implementation of this new Kinetic Military Action policy.
The velocity of the monstrosity is proportional to the angle of the dangle.
Hey Sailor, is that a Tomahawk in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Kinetic Military Action rocks the motion of the ocean.
NTTAWWT.
Posted at 21:42 by Chris Wysocki
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