Jersey City Commissariat of Affordable Housing redistributes real estate to "certified" artists

Here's a new twist on the Affordable Housing scam. New upscale apartments are set aside for starving artists. But not just any starving artists, only members of Jersey City's Proletkult, "certified" by the Artist Certification Board, can apply.

I heard the real estate market was tanking, but surely those apartments are worth more than a dollar. Of course then Jersey City couldn't enforce the Marxist credo: From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. Mr. Sorrentino should probably be grateful the city didn't steal the whole building at that price.

Because there are 500 artists waiting in the wings.

Artists interested in the affordable housing must be certified by the city Artist Certification board that has certified nearly 500 artists citywide. For more information, call (201) 547-5010.

So what makes someone a "certified" artist? Glad you asked! There's a six-point checklist.

1) Commitment to the fine arts as a career
2) Need for a large loft space
3) An arts education
4) Current body of work
5) Exhibition record
6) References from other artists or art professionals

And, just to keep out the riff-raff, "commercial" artists, i.e. people who have clients who pay them for their work, are officially excluded. Verboten! Only artists who create art for art's sake can be certified as eligible for Affordable Housing.

Because working and paying for your apartment is so bourgeois. Far better that the government should just seize that real estate and give it to the guys who churn out government-approved art. Is this a great country or what?

Posted at 20:03 by Chris Wysocki   [/nj_politics]   Comments | Perm Link |
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