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Chris Wysocki
Caldwell, NJ
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Hey! I've moved to He's Pretty Fly For A Jersey Guy.
Please update your bookmarks. Thanks!
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Forget Taxmageddon, ignore Replacements Refs, beware the upcoming Porkapolypse!
Everybody panic, there's gonna be a bacon shortage!
Might want to get your fill of ham this year, because "a world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable," according to an industry trade group.
Blame the drought conditions that blazed through the corn and soybean crop this year. Less feed led to herds declining across the European Union "at a significant rate," according to the National Pig Assn. in Britain.
And the trend "is being mirrored around the world," according to a release (hat tip to the Financial Times).
I blame Barack Obama. He's a Muslim (hey, Madonna said so, it's gotta be true!), pork offends Muslims, and we all know how much Obama hates it when Muslims are offended. The future must not belong to those who eat delicous bacon and slander the prophet of Islam.
Mitt Romney should immediately announce a plan to counter the pending bacon shortage. Porkapolypse is no bump in the road! It's a national security issue, and yes it's even more important than Replacement Refs or Sandra Fluke's sex life.
Bring home the bacon Mitt. We're counting on you.
Posted at 14:40 by Chris Wysocki
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