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Thaumaturgical Thursday: Immaculate Mary, your praises we sing

Imagine if The Virgin Mary had been a modern feminist, or St. Joseph embraced his inner Democrat. On the way to Bethlehem they make a quick detour into Planned Parenthood and, sorry Jesus, but no Messiah for us.

I'm thinking there are more than a few people in the country who'd be OK with that.

On this Feast of The Immaculate Conception there is actually some rare good news on the pro-life front. HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius overruled the FDA and declined to make the morning after pill available to teenagers without a prescription. It's the first time the Obama Administration has gone against the demands of pro-abortion groups like NARAL and Planned Parenthood.

A small miracle, for the season of miracles.

New news on the Jon Corzine front — he doesn't know anything about the missing money. Well sure, he was only the boss, how could he be expected to keep tabs on all those errant staffers when there was fundraising for Barry's re-election that needed to get done?

Not that I think Corzine is lying or anything. But he's only going to read a prepared statement in response to those congressional subpeonas, and then take the Fifth. What? You expected him to come clean?

You know who else is up on Capital Hill today, lying through his teeth? Eric Holder. If I was on that panel I'd ask him just one question. "Suppose I say I'm a Mexican drug lord, will you give me an AK-47?" Oh, and launder my money. I'd be eternally grateful if he'd launder my money.

Hey, Timmy Geithner doesn't pay his taxes, why should I?

Eric Holder, and by extension Barack Obama, are complicit in the murder of Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry. "Justice" demands that they be assigned a cell next to Rod Blagojevich and Tony Rezko. Fat chance of that. Remember when the press cared about corrupt Justice Department officials (cough, John Mitchell, cough) who broke the law?

Me neither.

Alright, enough doom and gloom for one day. Here's the Really Important News, just in time for all those Christmas parties and New Years Eve celebrations you're planning to attend.

A new pill that's a sure-fire hangover cure!

It's called "Blowfish," and it's apparently the hangover cure we've all been waiting for. While it hasn't officially been approved by the FDA, it is composed entirely of FDA-approved drugs and substances, which is really like the next-best thing. Just take two tablets, plop in water and fizz, and drink the magic juice that will allegedly make your dreams come true. Or you know, your headache go away. According to their website, each tablet contains: 500 mg aspirin, 60 mg caffeine, plus other sciencey-sounding things like Acesulfame Potassium, Anhydrous Citric Acid, Aspartame, Docusate Sodium, Flavors, Mannitol, Povidone, Sodium Benzoate, Sodium Bicarbonate.

It's on CBS News, it's gotta be true. There's "sciencey-sounding things" inside! I'll have to try it. You know, for science.

Posted at 11:33 by Chris Wysocki   [/misc]   Comments | Perm Link |
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