Saturday, 26 December 2009
Wherein I help Lance Troglify the Night Before Christmas
Lance got writer's block on Christmas Eve. He wanted to create a TrogloPundit version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas but he didn't get very far:
'Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the cave, not a creature was stirring, not even a...
...um...
Shave? Glaive? Knave? I guess I could go with knave, but... what would Chris be doing in my cave the night before Christmas?
Um, shots? As in you invited your friend over to enjoy some holiday cheer and help you rewrite a Christmas classic?
Because, you know, I could so totally help you out. For example, here's what I came up with:
'Twas the night after Christmas,
and down at the blog,
not a creature was stirring,
not even the Trog!
A delicious roast badger
was the ultimate feast!
It came special delivery
from the No Sheeples Here priest!
A tankard of ale
was raised in good cheer
from The Camp of the Saints
and Bob Belvedere!
Donald Douglas arrived
with a pile of presents,
prognostications galore
about current events.
The Other McCain
shook his tip jar
because he was stuck
with no gas in his car.
Burbank or Bust!
Roll Crimson Tide!
The Florida Gators
have nowhere to hide!
Compiling the roundups
Porch Manque Smitty
cackled with glee
"The girls are so pretty!"
In Shreveport meanwhile
Pat says "how do!"
How do all my friends
eat badger stew?
"It tastes just like squirrel!"
claims Fishersville Mike.
If the squirrel was run over
by Monique Stuart's bike!
Grandpa John and Pundette
exchange knowing glances.
They too know that secret
ingredient of Lance's!
The Classic Liberal remembers
when freedom did ring.
Ruby Slippers chimed in,
please read the whole thing!
Spread Christmas cheer
by clicking a link.
Link me 3 times and
I'll buy you a drink!
So hear me exclaim
from far off on the right,
"Merry New Year to all!
I hope you sleep tight!"
UPDATE 28 Dec 2009 10:22:
I'm glad you guys liked my poem!
Pat Austin says it made her day. Cool!
MarySue at Ruby Slippers liked it so much she was inspired to rewrite the lyrics to "Santa Baby" — Obama Baby, I really need a bailout tonight. Bravo!
Fishersville Mike denies any knowledge of what badger (or squirrel) tastes like. Why not try some tonight?
Lance vehemently asserts there's no such thing as a "roast badger." Oh yeah? Here's the recipe! And another for badger stew.
He then says something about me putting the fart scene from Blazing Saddles to music, but I think I'll leave that one to him. Wisconsin is cheese heaven, and I'm sure that Lance knows a thing or 2 about coupez le fromage.
Posted at 17:14 by Chris Wysocki
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Chris Wysocki
Caldwell, NJ
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