[Guest post] Militant Pastafarians

Speaking of atheists, I'm an atheist myself. I recognize that lots of really nice people are religious, and to the extent that they practice on private property without hurting me, without hurting innocent kids, and without any of my tax dollars supporting them, it's none of my business whatever nonsense they believe in believing, no matter how bizarre or horrid. So long as it's make believe, they can pretend they are drinking actual human blood and do it with my blessing. Yes, there are some real world, not-pretend abuses of religious license where kids do get hurt and tax dollars do support private religious practices. Those abuses bug me. They bug me a lot. Also, there are some objectively immoral practices enshrined in mainstream religious dogma that need correcting, especially with respect to the abuse of children, but also with respect to the undue hatred of people that are not like us. These abuses bug me a lot as well.

Saints be praised, people like Niko Alm give atheists a bad name. No wonder the religious majority in this country think we are soulless morons. To start with, everybody knows that proper Pastafarian garb is pirate regalia. He should be wearing a tricorn and an eyepatch, not playing around with some silly colander. Yarrr! The heretic must walk the plank after he confesses his crime.

What? You say he's not a heretic to be forked over to Davy Jones because Pastafarianism (let alone scolapastaintestationism) is plainly not a religion at all. Rather, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is obviously a put up job -- a satirical stunt. The details of FSM dogma don't matter because they were merely made up for the stunt. Colander, tricorn, yarmulke, they're all the same. That's the point. Ha ha!

Sorry. Can't have it both ways. If it's so obvious Pastafarianism is invalid as religion, then it's also the case that the put-up job has no point. To deny the obvious just insults everyone's intelligence. All a millitant Pastafarian putz like Niko Alm will accomplish is to diminish any chance legitimate aspects of the atheist agenda will ever get a serious hearing.

Maybe if Pastafarians were using their noodles, they'd adhere, ummm, well, religiously to the arbitrary dogma they invented. If they waited long enough without accidentally breaking character and lapsing into a fit of giggles, maybe then they can make some kind of shocking point when they let the meatball roll onto the floor at some future date. They don't need to wait very long. L Ron Hubbard wrote a lame self-help book in 1952, and in 1993 the IRS granted his nonsense status as a tax free religion. That's only 41 years to achieve the ultimate tax dodge. Imagine if today's Mormon leaders were to come out and say: "Yo! Check it out. Joe Smith just made up all that crap about Moroni and the golden plates. It's a con that lets us have our way with lots of young girls. HAHA! I can't believe you all fell for that shit."

Posted at 12:08 by Nadz   [/guest/nadz]   Comments | Perm Link |
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