Hyphenated feminist stupidity, or what to do when hyphen-boy meets hyphen-girl

It's an IT guy's worst nightmare, the last name that doesn't end. Robert DiMarco Salvatore-Maurielllo marries Antoinette Kaplonski LaTorracca-Bogdanowicz.

What name goes on the first born son's birth certificate?

Guiseppe Alfonso Kaplonski-DiMarco LaTorracca-Bogdanowicz-Salvatore-Mauriello doesn't fit. Trust me, I code this stuff every day. You can't make the field big enough, not if you ever want to print it on a standardized form.

Instapundit brought insufficient mockery to the fawning, almost apologetic NPR report so I thought I'd add my own database administrator's perspective.

Knock this shit off.

The hyphenated name craze was unsustainable from Day 1. It's feminut claptrap wrapped up in political correctness - keep your last name, and his too! - but don't think too hard about the ridicule headed your child's way.

Because feminists need children like a fish needs a bicycle. Aborted babies don't have names, right?

But a funny thing happened on the way to the clinic. Motherhood, it's primordial. And when push comes to shove, no one wants her kid getting beat up on the playground.

My database drops those middle names; you get an initial. Pick B or C, it doesn't matter to me. Your Social Security Number is your unique identifier anyway.

I don't really care what name you call yourself by; you're just a number to me. But if you want your name to look pretty on the forms, keep it under 29 characters. Truncation, it doesn't discriminate.

Posted at 21:56 by Chris Wysocki   [/feminists]   Comments | Perm Link |
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