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When you live in New Jersey you acquire a lot of liberal friends. Most of them are run-of-the-mill New York Times readers, uninformed but harmless, except when you let them near a voting booth. But then there's the occasional Michael Moore acolyte — utterly clueless but convinced to the bone that he's smarter than everyone.
Anyway, on Saturday night I made a passing comment about the upcoming Fiscal Cliff, you know, something along the lines of "we don't have a revenue problem, we have a spending problem."
Mr. Full Of Marxism chimes in — Why do you want to pay Mitt Romney's taxes? Wow, that must be the latest Rachel Madcow talking point. Because only a liberal intellectual could envision such a ridiculous statement as being part of an actual argument.
No, I'm not worried about what Mitt Romney pays, Why does it bother you? And why should anyone pay more?
He only pays 13 percent! was the followup, as I fixed him with my most patronizing stare.
Listen up Numbnuts, Mitt Romney paid Two Million Dollars in taxes last year. You? You haven't paid $2 million dollars to Uncle Sam over your entire 63 years on God's green earth. Plus Gov. Romney gave updwards of $7 million to charity as well. You? You can't spell charity. You're on the Joe Biden charity plan — the government's got that covered. And it pisses you off that a bureacrat didn't get to put his stamp of approval on how Romney distributed that $7 million. Really, it does.
Then I hear you cry, Mitt Romney makes more than me! He can afford it!
Yeah, Communism 101. From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. You didn't do what it takes to get rich, so now it's time to soak the guys who worked harder than you did. Why oh sagacious class warrior, why is it "greed" for me to want to keep what I make, but "altruism" for you to confiscate my wealth so you can give it to someone else?
Here's a thought. Rather than begrudging Mitt Romney his millions, how about you try emulating his success? Get. Off. Your. Ass.
Oh, wait. That's hard. Better vote for that Obama dude instead! Then you can sit on your ass while guys like me and Romney work to pay for your free stuff.
As for those class warfare tax hikes your MSDNC brainwashers keep peddling? The Lonely Conservative has a very illuminating pie chart.
Wow, that whole tax the rich thing, it doesn't look very lucrative to me. You might want to check your math. Balanced, it ain't.
See, I heard it's gonna take something like 400 years for the Obama tax hikes on "the rich" to pay down one year of his budget deficits. Add it all up and the net result of disrupting so many livelihoods is chickenfeed. It's obvious that you and Dear Leader aren't even trying to cut the deficit or fix the economy. You're out to punish success. It's wrong in your universe for people to make money.
Well, maybe not all people. George Soros, he can make money. Warren Buffett too. And all those Hollyweird hotshots. But Regular Americans? Those of us who create jobs and pay the lion's share of taxes? We're Public Enemy Number One. Because we might use some of our earnings to form a right-wing PAC. Buy some TV ads. Tell the truth about Dear Leader's plans. Wreck the progressive gravy train.
If our ideas catch on, well the next thing you know, the masses might start thinking for themselves. And then what? Self reliance? Initiative? Liberty? Yeah, that's crazy talk, right?
Far better to turn us all into beggars. They're easier to please.
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